I’m breaking the silence.
I was a weekly blogger and inspirational speaker for Joel Fuhrman, M.D. for nearly five years; and then in 2014, I hit a wall and couldn’t write or speak publicly anymore.
On Memorial Day 2012, I lost my 21-year-old son to suicide . . . and afterward, I tried my best to be strong and keep going as if nothing had happened.
In fact, the day after the funeral I was back to blogging every week—to thousands of readers—and two months later I was traveling and speaking again. I wanted to prove my resilience.
. . . until I couldn’t do it anymore.
I had fallen apart on the inside and wearing makeup and a smile on my face could no longer conceal the pain.
And that’s where I’ll begin this new blog . . . my blog.
In a nutshell, in the summer of 2008 I began a journey to restore my failing health. I never intended to be a blogger or inspirational speaker.
In fact, I didn’t even know what a blog was back then.
I had been busy in the trenches of rearing five children for nearly two decades and didn’t have a portable device or laptop. I had a PC and knew the basics, but that was it. I didn’t even know how to cut and paste.
Soon after losing 100 pounds, Dr. Fuhrman asked me to write 500 words about my favorite vegetable for his blog.
I submitted my writing and his fans enjoyed reading it.
Then he asked if I could submit more writings, and once again, they enjoyed reading them.
It was fun--but I didn’t consider myself a blogger—until an Internet troll entered the picture.
The troll was disguised as four males and five females and began posting mean and nasty comments about my writings. This continued for three months, and I almost quit several times throughout that period of time.
I think readers started following my blog posts just to view the nasty comments!
This one person had created the nine false names and used them to criticize me. All nine identities were traced to the same Internet address.
Eventually, the troll was exposed and the derogatory comments immediately stopped.
What started out as a simple writing about my favorite vegetable snowballed into writing a weekly post on Dr. Fuhrman’s public blog for more than four years.
With Dr. Fuhrman as my editor to make sure the scientific part of my writings were accurate, I wrote about everything related to food addiction recovery.
I consider him to be my mentor—not only in teaching me everything I know about nutrition, achieving optimal health, and food addiction recovery—but he is also the one responsible for throwing me into the deep end of the blogging world.
I also interviewed many individuals who had gotten their health back.
My favorite part of those interviews was sharing their success tips with the readers.
Then I started traveling and speaking at Dr. Fuhrman’s health retreats, in churches, on TV, and anywhere I was invited to share my story and inspire others . . .
. . . until I smashed into that wall mentioned above.
I gradually lost my voice as anguish and sorrow seeped in and paralyzed my brain.
Trauma, grief, and incredible loss will do that to a person.
But, thankfully, it didn’t last forever.
I did get through it—eventually—but at the time it seemed like the searing pain and confusion would last forever.
My son’s death was more than five years ago now.
My broken heart has healed significantly in that span of time.
Now I’m ready to share what I’ve learned; not only about escaping food addiction and emotional eating, but what I’ve learned concerning the impact of trauma and grief on relapse as well.
One doesn’t have to experience the traumatic death of a loved one in order to experience deep, emotional pain. Any profound loss: loss of a job, loss of financial security, loss of health, or marriage, or a close relationship can impact one’s emotional health as well.
And, of course, I will be sharing other parts of my life with you too—everything from gardening and cooking to updates on my current painting projects and my "granddogs," Libby and Fern.
Whoever you are, whether you are struggling to hold life together in the midst of addiction, or profound loss, or a myriad of other hardships . . . let me off my hope and inspiration as we journey through this blog together.
Peace to you.